dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
