is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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