Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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