Christians are straight up FREAKS
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
