Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
