I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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