My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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