whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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