that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
