God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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