So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
