She said her name was "party"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
