We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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