he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
