Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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