whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
