he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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