Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
