I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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