Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
