TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
