Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
