I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
