She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
