She said her name was "party"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
