You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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