Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
