I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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