Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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