why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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