Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
