Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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