Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
