So drunk its hurt
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
