it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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