if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He? As in you personified your dick?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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