There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
