Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was born a porn star she said
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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