I want to stick my p in your. b.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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