even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
