i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my shit smells like andre
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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