The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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