remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
