dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
