You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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