I'm gonna have a badass scar
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
