I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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