I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
