It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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