i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
